A Tale of Take Out Pizza
It was a hot and sticky Wednesday afternoon in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The day started out refreshingly cool until summer came knocking again. I thought Labor Day magically signaled the end of long, hot days. By mid-afternoon I felt worn down from the rising temperatures and the normal rush of my day.
Despite my feelings, I told my son I would bake cupcakes for him to bring to school for his birthday and I needed to buy a few supplies. I put the kids in the van and drove to the store. There is a Papa Murphy’s located a few doors down from the grocery store. As soon as I saw the sign, it triggered a Pavlovian response in me. Suddenly, I wanted needed a cheap, salty pizza and an excuse to not make dinner.
I called my husband as I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.
Sounding tired I said, “Hey hon. It’s me. I am not feeling well. It is so hot and I have to bake cupcakes for Jude to bring to school. I don’t feel like making dinner. I want to order a pizza from Papa Murphy’s.”
I thought my husband would remind me of my commitment to no take-out food. Instead he replied, “Sounds good.”
“But I feel bad because of my commitment to not ordering any take-out food. Remember? It is one of my challenges for my blog,” I said, feeling a bit disappointed that he seemed to have forgetten.
Acting slightly surprised, my husband responded, “Oh, yeah. That’s right.”
Clearly he was not going to talk me out of ordering a pizza.
I sighed and said, “Well, I am feeling sick, it is hot and I still need to bake some cupcakes. I guess those are good enough reasons to break my commitment and order some pizza just this once.”
“Uh-huh,” replied my husband sympathetically.
Trying to ignore my self-doubt, I said, “Okay. That settles it. I am going to order a pizza.”
A few minutes later, I found myself parked in front of Papa Murphy’s having another conversation. Except this conversation was in my head as my “tired” voice and my “committed” voice wrestled with my decision to buy a take-out pizza.
I heard the tired voice in my head say, “I really don’t feel good. Can’t I order a pizza just this once? It is not that big of a deal.”
To which my committed voice replied, “Of course you can, but what about your no take-out food commitment?”
Feeling frustrated, my tired voice answered, “But it is my project and I can give myself a break if I want to!”
To which my committed voice responded, “You are right. You can give yourself a break. You are only human after all. But what about those heirloom tomatoes and melons you just bought from the Farmer’s Market? And those last few cucumbers from your Grandpa’s garden? They will go bad if you do not use them.”
My shoulders slumped in defeat as my son hollered from the backseat, “Mom, why are we parked here? Are we gonna go home and bake my cupcakes?”
I replied, “Yes. Just a minute. I am trying to make an important decision.”
I returned to the conversation in my head and my committed voice won as I said to myself, “This is exactly why I decided to do a blog. I wanted accountability. I am going to go home and make dinner.”
I drove home and mustered up the energy to make homemade salsa with heirloom tomatoes, peppers, carrots and jalapenos I had recently purchased from the Farmer’s Market. Along with salsa, we ate a sweet cantaloupe and fresh cucumbers from my Grandpa’s garden. Dinner tasted as delicious as it sounds. But to be honest, I was still craving that cheap, salty take-out pizza. Were it not for my commitment to trying to live a more sustainable life and the accountability of writing my blog, my tired voice would have won and I would have found myself saying, “Forget it! Who cares about one, little pizza?! It doesn’t really matter in the larger scheme of things!” And I would have ordered that pizza.
The thoughts expressed through my conversation with my husband and the conversation in my head have been typical of the moments where I really want to buy some convenience food. Although I did not order a take-out pizza on Wednesday, I have given into my tired, hungry voice a couple of times since taking on my Grandma Challenge of not eating out or ordering in. Despite a few failures, I am going to persist with this challenge because for one year I want it to matter whether or not I order a take-out pizza. I want to understand that even though I may want take-out pizza, I do not need take-out pizza. I usually have plenty of food waiting for me at home.
Experts say it takes thirty days to develop a new habit. I think it is going to take a year or more of repeatedly walking away from my urge to order take-out pizza and other convenience food items before I fully embrace the plenty that already exists in my own life.
Wow, that’s hard stuff, April. I think as Americans (and Canadians) we have a huge sense of entitlement. If I want it, I should have it. So, kudos to you for bucking this trend. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have made the choice you did BUT it does give me pause and helps me to assess my own choices. Thanks for that.
April, you rock. You are a strong, amazing woman to walk away from that. The thing about that kind of craving is that it isn’t even GOOD but you want it. And you will want it again unless you melt some serious cheese over your farmer’s market veggies this weekend. LOL
I think that temptation is really borne out of our dizzyness as we traverse the world outside of our own homes as I know you touched on in previous posts. I find I do much better if my schedule allows me to actually stay home. Today we did not drive at all. While we had school this morning, bread baked quietly in our bread machine, then I made peanut butter and no bake cookies in the afternoon. Yesterday during morning school time I baked up a nice vat of granola so that we can have quick breakfasts for a week or two to afford us MORE time for school things in the mornings too! I don’t get any of this stuff done if I have commitments away from home - it just doesn’t happen.
Thanks, Lavonne and Serenity. I really did feel overwhelmed by the pizza incident. A few other funny things happened along the way. I had to stop when I was driving home because my van door was not shut all of the way. I almost turned around right then and ordered that pizza! When I got home I discovered that some of my veggies had gone bad and I had to walk three doors down to borrow a vegetable peeler because I left mine up the street at cohousing. I really wanted to give up on making dinner but I made it through.
I was not sure if I should post the incident on my blog because it did not seem like a big deal once I started to write about it. But I guess it is a pretty average dilemma that many people/families face everyday and so it is important to share. I know I will face it again and again this year!
April-
Although I haven’t replied to any of your former blogs, I’ve been following your progress week-by-week and am amazed at your ability to manage this massive undertaking with such a determined spirit. I really admire you and wish we (my familyl) could also live more “green.” Alas, I am too attached to convenience and totally addicted to eating out (McDonald’s Cokes are my true weakness). I look forward to reading more about your journey over the coming year. Keep it up–you give the rest of us hope that if we truly tried, it CAN be done :)!!
Thanks for your honesty, Karen! No judgement here! We are all in this together. You are using some of your energy to support me as I make changes this year and that says a lot.
April
Great job obstaining from the pizza. You know that you would have felt absolutely aweful and bloated the next morning from all the salt and carbs. Your family feels better, you feel better…it was worth the internal discussion. I have done similar debates on take-out or home fixings and have found that being home and eating simple keeps me feeling better in general.
As for your husband “forgetting” about your commitment to living like grandma, he will need some slack every so often on that. My husband and I have very similar exchanges. This weekend, however, he mentioned that he appreciates the good food I prepare and that it is the best diet we could be on. Amazing things do happen! And, tonight he said he wants to give up our morning coffee for a few days because his face is braeking out. He will be on his own with that one. Making coffee in the morning is MY wake up time even if I only drink 3/4 of a cup.
Again, great job on passing up the salty, high calorie, high carb fast food!
Good for you April!! I gave in last night to the cheap $5 pizza. I’d been gone all afternoon w/3 of the kids and was brain dead from getting up multiple times a night w/ the 2 youngest (3 nights in a row). In spite of all that it wasn’t worth it! I told my husband during dinner that I felt like I was poisoning all of us. I sorta was because we all ended up w/stomach aches =(
I made up for it tonight by passing up our favorite dutch treats at the store (that have probably traveled more than we have) and made zucchini chocolate chip cookies when I got home.
Hooray for you! Choices like that aren’t easy…but if we want to make a difference in any way in this world, we have to consider even these “little” choices. Besides, even if one pizza doesn’t matter to the the environment or to Grandma, it matters to character - you stuck it out when it was tough and not fun. My dad used to always tell us when we were kids and complaining about chores or whatever - “You’re building character.” And I felt like I needed no more character-building by the time I left the house! (Little did I realize how much I would continue to need character-building exercises throughout the rest of my life!) So…good job! And thanks goodness for accountability as a motivator when our values are no fun to follow.
I had to chuckle at your pizza story. My husband and I both LOVE pizza. We ate it a lot and then one day I realized that there was no reason for us to be spending all that money on an “easy” meal. I could make it myself easily enough. I’ve made some substitutes to make it healthier for us as well. When I make the dough I use whole wheat flour and I use turkey pepperoni, homemade spaghetti sauce and the reduced fat cheese. It’s not as greasy and it tastes great. The dough takes an hour but most of that is rising so I can get other stuff done while I’m waiting for it to get done. Then it makes two 12 inche pizzas. We eat one and save the other for later by cutting it into slices and freezing it. Then when I need something quick and easy and don’t feel like cooking I can pull it out of the freezer and reheat it and we are good to go!
Sometimes when I don’t feel like cooking, we have “breakfast for dinner,” which my husband can cook quite well
Are you sure that wasn’t the voice that argues in my head? How many times have I had a similar conversation with myself about giving in to what my FLESH wanted? OFTEN!
Boy, do I have legitimate excuses too!
Many times I triumph my flesh thoughts (YEA!) but the battle is exhausting. LOL
Continue pressing in. You can do this and even when you fall~ get back up and continue on!
Love- your sis, Missy